Is it Wrong to Want These Things?

“You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.” –Psalm 139:3-4.

This is by far the hardest post I have ever contemplated to write. A few months ago, the idea began to stir up in my mind and heart, but over the past few months I have experienced great difficulty in finding the “right words”. You see, it was late one night as I was driving home from watching a film with my friends. I was contemplating the storyline; the film was about following your dreams and risking everything to pursue them. It was a very inspiring musical, you may have heard of it, LALA Land, and I just could not drive home right away, so I drove around the city limits lost in a sea of thoughts. Something was clearly bothering me, so I did the only thing I knew to do when restlessness stirs in my heart…I started to talk to God. I don’t know if it was a prayer or just carrying conversation with Him, but the answer I got was everything I have been searching for the past three years.

In the fall of 2012, after returning from a summer in Colorado serving as a church plant intern, I thought I had discovered my “life purpose” , and so I pursued it. Two weeks before leaving my hometown and relocating to a new state, I realized I had what other’s call “jumped the gun”. Though it was painful, I had to let that desire burn with the fire that I felt had destroyed my reputation and character as a “woman of God”. It hurt, but I knew I had made the right decision. Over the next two years, I overcame the sorrow and made the brave decision to put the dream of church planting in Colorado to rest. During that time of healing, I sought answers to so many questions. “Why would I feel such a close attachment to the people and culture, if I wasn’t meant to go? Why did you (God) let me get that far in the journey, if I was meant to stay? How come it’s so easy for my friends to relocate and serve in ministry? Did I just not have all my ‘ducks in a row’?”.  Slowly those questions turned into rationalizations, “Perhaps, I am supposed to get our of debt first like my friend so and so and her husband did before they moved..,Maybe its still church planting just not Colorado. I should go to graduate school first. Financial stability comes first. My family needs me to stay close because this and this was going to happen and God knew that.  Ohh, I know! I am supposed to be married first before I go off on my own into ministry”. This had lasted for years, just going back and forth yet still feeling like I was not fulfilling my life’s calling. Of course family and friends supported me and also offered their perspectives and opinions. Many advised me to stabilize a career first, and I tried but it was like just as I started to climb the mountain boulders would come tumbling down. –Big life’s boulders.  So then I attempted to become more financially stable and really pay attention to my expenses and save, and well… student loans and medical bills just seemed to keep drowning me one after another.

These were the memories, I continued to discuss with God on my drive that night, just seeking the answer that would put to rest all of my anxieties, doubts, and fears. At one point I said, “Lord, I just don’t understand. Why does it look so easy for my friends, why does it look so easy on Hollywood? Am I just crippled by fear? Am I not persevering enough? Do I need more endurance? And what about my other dreams like having a family and a home?”.  And in that moment it came to me like a whisper, “I made you, you”, and in that instant it was like all the weights, all the chains, everything that had been weighing me down was gone. I felt free.

In the film there is this “deciding” moment for one of the main characters and she has to decide if her dream is worth pursuing?, and I felt like this was my moment and I too had to decide. Except I had already made my choice many years ago,  the day I said “yes” to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You see what I learned that night was that each one of us is genuinely and intricately made. We each have our own personalities, talents, likes, dislikes, dreams, passions, professional paths, families, etc. There is not one single one of us who is made the same, not even twins. We are unique and especially divinely designed for a purpose. Just like our personalities, there is a variety of life’s purpose and each one of us discovers it in this beautiful journey we call life. I have sought many ideas and opportunities that I convinced myself were the right ones for me, and I was mistaken but that is not to say that they would be mistakes for another. Money , education, significant other, children, a career, just are not the things that my heart, mind, and spirit truly seek. I cannot explain it but there is one passion, one dream, one desire, that outweighs the rest of them. Like in the Book of Solomon,  I view money, education, career path, etc  as a “chasing after the wind”. I do not find fulfillment, or joy in any one of them.  My desire to see other’s have a new life in Christ, to see the wonderful transformations saying “yes” to God can do for people is the great treasure I am after. I have tried with great intent to look and seek other things, but I come out empty every time.  I believe that faith is what helps us overcome the storms in life. Faith is what aids us in breaking down the boulders piece by piece until they are just small pebbles in our life. I believe that a relationship in Christ with God can be everything we could ever need and hope for in our life, and I believe this is worth pursuing though it may cost me everything I have.

This is the effect, LALA Land, had in my heart that night. Somehow this film started up a flame in me and every day my prayer is that it will continue to grow and remain. So if you are wondering is it wrong to want these things, fame, money, financial stability, love, career, marriage, children, ministry? My answer to you is absolutely not, God designed you to be you. We each feel pulled to different things, be wise not to let it consume you, but explore the place these general concepts may have in your life. I believe that as you unfearfully explore these ideas and bring them to God every day, He will reveal to you the goodness in each one of them without it overwhelming you and destroying you. He will build them, He will guide you in discerning which are worth pursuing and which to put to rest. For me, I know that a life in Christ, and being a witness to others, and share the gospel is what will always triumph over the rest, so as long as I am pursuing that on a daily basis the rest will come as it may. Whether I am teaching at a university or serving in an orphanage in a foreign country I will do it with a Colossians 3:17 mindset. So take courage my dear reader, and explore all that God has for you. Walk in wisdom, seek discernment, seek Godly counsel, remember to pray and pursue your dreams.

As always, I appreciate you for visiting, remember God loves you.

Blessings!

-S

“And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him”. –Colossians 3:17

The Human, the Pavement, and the Longboard

longboard

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go”. –Joshua 1:9

 

“What was I thinking? I can’t do this! I am not cut our for this…this was a bad idea.” These were the thoughts running through my mind as I walked up to my friend’s car. Earlier that day, I had made up my mind to go for a run later at the park, but as I was leaving church the opportunity to spend time with two friends opened up and when the suggestion of long-boarding came up my response was, “Sure, why not?  I’ve never gone longboarding before.” Enthused my friends decided they would teach me and so we all agreed to meet up later at the park.

Hours later, after a leisure stroll with a dear sweet friend (to walk out the nerves) there I was standing behind my friend’s car as we selected a longboard. Lucky for me my friends were experienced and eager to teach me so I knew I was in good hands. One of my friends was already gliding and attempting tricks–“surely this isn’t so hard”.

Wrong (so wrong)

“Okay guys so what do I do?”

“It’s easy you just keep one foot on the board and you push off with your other foot, like a skateboard”. 

“I’ve never been on a skateboard..”

Other friend, “No worries, just climb on, try to balance, push off with your foot (like this) and turn your feet to turn”. 

So I did exactly as I was told. I placed my right foot on the board, pushed off with my left, and as I pulled my left foot to get on the longboard…

-BAM!

(Missed)

-There goes my right ankle..

(No worries, again)

BAM!

-Floor.

(And again…) “Yay, I got the hang of it! Now how do I…stoooooop?!”

-Floor.

(There goes the longboard…)

Quickly, our gallant friend ran to recover the longboard before it hit the water. By now, I knew this was an indication that this feat would be difficult…and perhaps a visit to the emergency room was in my future.. Uncertain, I voiced out my doubts and fears in jest and laughter, as my concern only grew for rest of this day. You see, I know myself. Although, I make the best efforts to stay active and exercise, I also know that coordination is not my forte. Accidents tend to follow me. I once fractured my pelvis while running ( at sixteen) and that has always haunted me. (I am the girl that trips over thin air, and here I was on a longboard trying to maintain my balance).

-c-a-t-a-s-t-r-o-p-h-e 

About 5 ankle hits later, I was able to get on the longboard. This short-lived achievement resulted in an apparent indication for my friend to give me a gentle push (of encouragement) to be off on my way.

-(Wrong idea, John Wayne).

Heart racing and eyes bulging out of my sockets, I was certain I was about to hit the water (Did I mention, I don’t know how to swim?). Thankfully, I didn’t and I was able to stop. My friends caught up to me, applauded me, and encouraged me that I was getting the hang of it. We were only about 1/4 of a tenth away from our starting point..(but progress is still progress, right?). I am usually a long processor, but when it comes to these type of moments my brain goes on hyper-speed. I deduced that if I was ever going to succed at this, I needed space (no more gentle nudges for this gal). So, I persuaded my friends to go ahead of me, and so they left.

There I was, just me, the pavement, and the longboard. Only one of us destined to be the winner. And so I attempted it, again, and again, and again. And this is how it went:

“Yay!”

-I got this! 

-………

-I don’t got this, I don’t got…

-Ankle! 

Okay, here we go again.

-Steady, steady..

-Alas! 

-This isn’t so…

Pavement! 

-Again

-Pavement.

-Again…

-Pavementtt.

-Really pavement.

-Pavement wins.

Friendly runner: “You are brave for doing that, I couldn’t do it”.

-(Laughter) 

-And again….

-Yay! 

-Okay, now turn…

-Turn…

-Leaves!

-Okay, here we go..

And then there they were, my friends, so proud and happy that I was able to stay on board. After much encouragement, I told them my goal was to make it to this one landmark so they accompanied me. They gave me a few pointers, like keeping a wider stance for balance, and then they stopped to examine a snake. And then they stopped to chat with some people they knew, so I kept on. Proud of my accomplishment I was thinking, “Okay God, what are you trying to teach me? Surely, you are teaching me something…”

-PAVEMENT.

I hit the pavement so hard my injury lasted for the next seven days. And of course, there was an audience (my friends). I laughed. It was the only thing I could do to mask the pain. Both of my friends rushed to my rescue, one helped me up, while the other (John Wayne) made sure I wasn’t bleeding or seriously injured. Once I was back on the board, we proceeded to return to our cars.

Overall, I had fun. I enjoyed trying something new and having two friends by my side to share this longboarding venture. My aching body disagreed with my final thoughts, but I truly did enjoy the experience.

Afterwards, I decided to go wash my car and as I was drying it I was recalling that afternoon laughing about all the falls. Laughing about how my fate had been sealed from the moment friend A and friend B were my teachers. “Teaching is not their forte. Where were the rehearsals? The step on and step off? The..”. And that’s when it hit me.

 -Life doesn’t teach us that way.

In fact, my friends ended up being excellent teachers, they taught from the “every day life” approach. In life, we don’t get a “step one, two, and three”. There may be people who will guide us and offer advice but that’s about it. Everything else is up to us. We choose how to respond. There will be moments when we fall and our friends, family, and other loved ones will be right there to help us. But there will also be moments when we fall and we will be by ourselves facing the choice to keep trying or give up? Likewise, there will be many victories. Some will be experienced with others around who will encourage, praise, and celebrate with us. Just as there will be many victories only known to us but still meant to be celebrated. These triumphs are just as important and teach us that we don’t always have to depend on others to succeed. What we have learned from others goes with us wherever we go.

This is the beautiful part of it all. Philippians 4:9 states, “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you”. And Joshua 1:9 proclaims, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Both verses echo the same idea, you are not alone God is with you and equips you. The One who taught me to fight and how to fight remains with me wherever I go. He was the reason I kept getting back on my feet and continuing to attempt to master the longboard. He gave me life, and life was not meant to be wasted, but to be enjoyed. Sometimes that means that you make the best of every opportunity even if it’s one that doesn’t cater to your strengths. I had been given a gift that day. A gift of fellowship, friendship, laughter, strength, perseverance, and endurance. A gift that was meant to be opened, enjoyed, and appreciated, and that’s why I kept going.

God gave His only begotten Son so that we would not know death, but be granted the gift of eternal life. I wasn’t just born; I was born for a purpose. Just as Christ was born for the purpose that all would come to know Him and believe in Him. Whatever the circumstances Christ faced, He kept going. He kept loving. He kept getting back on the longboard (metaphorically speaking). Just the same, to the cherished churched ones, whatever comes your way remain steadfast and keep your eyes on God. Keep believing. Keep trusting. Keep living for Him. Abide in Him and His light will never go out. To the cherished un-churched ones, don’t grow discouraged and don’t lose hope. If darkness falls believe that there is a light nearby, and when you see it, walk toward it for where there is Light there is Hope. Keep your head up and keep moving forward for along your path God’s love is being poured out and He is knocking at the door. My question to all of us is, how will you respond?

As always, I appreciate you so much for reading and remember:

HOPE.

In His abounding love,

-S

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved” -John 3:16-17 

Stop. Just Stahppppp…

“A soothing tongue [speaking words that build up and encourage] is a tree of life, But a perverse tongue [speaking words that overwhelm and depress] crushes the spirit” -Proverbs 15:4 (AMP).

Truth: I am a hope-full romantic. I don’t admit this to anyone so the fact I am confessing this publicly indicates “I mean business”. So it would be of no surprise why every time I see a healthy prosperous marriage, I compliment the wife about how encouraging it is to see a marriage centered in Christ. And you know the response I always get, “Thank you. It’s hard work.” Other times, people respond with, “Thank you, it’s not easy it takes effort.” I get it, I do. Or at least I think I do..from a single lady perspective, you don’t want others to get a misconception of “marriage”. I understand you want to make it known that “marriage” is a lifetime commitment, a vow between a man and wife before God. It’s a serious matter, not something to jump into or take lightly, but people stop calling it “hard work”.

Please.

There is approximately 171,478 words currently in use in the dictionary, surely there is a word more suitable to still express the seriousness of marriage without labeling it as “hard work”. Now before all my married friends, start deleting me, hear me out. Let me explain why I get so discouraged and at times passionately upset about hearing “hard work” as a means to describe marriage.

First, I am single. I am not just single but a lady who is a hope-full romantic and dreams of her wedding day. Dreams of the day I will just know that it is “him” who’m I have been patiently waiting for. So yes, this may be interpreted as an askew viewpoint, but again hear me out. Second, I believe in the power that, words hold the great power of bringing life or death. For this reason I chose the epithet above, but more on that later. Third, Scripture states in Ephesians 5: 25-27:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish”. 

The chapter, continues to describe marriage and the functioning role of a husband and wife, but my point is this: where did Scripture label marriage as “hard work”? It didn’t. The verses speak about love and care, and alludes to sacrifice (sure ‘Hard work” can be read between the lines) but do we call our relationship with Christ as hard work? When someone says, “I admire your faith. Or your faith is strong”. Do we respond with, “thank you it’s hard work.”?

-No

We don’t hear our pastors speaking those words over living a Christian day to day life. And as a Christian I can attest that it not always easy to “turn the other cheek”, to not speak before it’s time, etc, yet I don’t call my relationship with Christ as “hard work”. Why do you think that is?

I think the answer lies within the epithet above: Proverbs 15:4. We understand the power of the tongue, and know that speaking “hard work” over our Christian life has the power to discourage, overwhelm, and depress our walk of faith. So, if we deter from speaking that over our faith, why speak it over something as pure and powerful as marriage? If marriage is not about happiness, but about holiness. If marriage is about having a lifetime equal partner to fulfill God’s mission on this earth (Gen 2 & 3; Matt 28:16-20) then why speak “hard work” over one’s marriage? I believe that by speaking that phrase one is setting themselves up for difficulty and disagreements. I refuse to believe in the “seven year itch” and all of those myths about marriage. Even if they are true and one day I  walk through them, I will not accept it. My God is bigger than statistics. He is bigger than past experiences, and I am believing against those things and believing that my husband will share those views with me. The belief that our words are powerful, and the tongue holds the power of bringing life or death, strength or weakness, belief or doubt, peace or unrest, love or strongly dislikes.

These are my views, and for some time have been wanting to write this but was always afraid of the outcome. I feared social media and the possible negative responses this post would bring. I feared what will others think of me? What if they don’t like me anymore? But after many months of going “back and forth” on this post, I decided no, I need to say something. It really does upset me beyond discouragement when I hear that phrase. It shouldn’t but it does. I mean when you look at it from another point, “hard work” does hold the connotation of pride, reward, fulfillment, accomplishment, effort, perseverance, endurance, and commitment. But from a millennial perspective,  “hard work” is not something that pop culture embraces and inspires goal setting, instead it’s discouraging at least to the masses.

So perhaps we can come up with a better term, one that still encompasses seriousness, commitment, passion, perseverance, reward,  accomplishment, and life?

I propose, “adventure”. You know you are in it for the long run, but surprises await you just around the corner. There is uncertainty but a mutual goal is what keeps you going. You prepare for the most part, and are willing to sort out the unknowns together. At least that’s my definition.

Thank you for visiting, reading, and being patient with this hope-full romantic. I truly appreciate you for taking the time with this post. I hope you come back, and that you are not too upset with me for my boldness this time. I like to think of this post as a freshly brewed dark roast cup of coffee. It’s bitter tasting but the strength is definitely evident in the taste, yet dark black coffee isn’t for everyone.

I pray blessings over your week,

S

Who’s The Real Monster?

Tonight, I joined a friend to watch the 1931 film, Frankenstein; and I was left with one thought, “who is the monster?”. 

Most of us grew up with the idea that the character, “Frankenstein”, is the monster/creation in the movie, but (if you read the book) and watch the film adaptations closely you will notice that the creation/experiment is never given a name. He is not Frankenstein.  The character, “Frankenstein”, is actually the scientist who chooses to defy the laws of nature, and attempts to bring dead tissue to life. When he succeeds, he then tries to communicate with the creation as he continues with his research. In the 1931 adaptation, you learn that his fiancé, friend, and mentor are aware of Frankenstein’s experiment, and they allow him to continue with his research. His mentor even encourages him and remains by his side. (So are they the monsters?). Then Frankenstein places his lab assistant in charge of the “creation”. The lab assistant treats the experiment with disrespect and uses force to correct him, or perhaps to emphasize inferiority v. superiority between the two. (So is the lab assistant “the monster”?). After some time of mistreatment and abuse, the “creation” longs for freedom and in his desperation loses control and kills the lab assistant and mentor. The “creation” then encounters a young girl near a lake, who treats him with compassion and kindness, she teaches him to throw flowers in the lake because they float. Excited, he seeks to find other things that float and throws the child (who didn’t know how to swim) into the lake. As the film continues, the “creation” stumbles upon Frankenstein’s home, and recognizing the fiancée he excitedly tries to communicate with her. The fiancée startled, panicks, and begins to wrestle him leading into what is later interpreted as an attack. The entire village in an outrage decide to hunt and kill the “creation”. In the end Frankenstein faces his “creation” and gets injured, so the “creation” takes him back to the only place he knew as home. This leads to another confrontation causing Frankenstein to fly off the building, (mob interprets it as attempted murder) and they burn the windmill down trapping and terminating  the “creation’s” existence.

So, is he the monster? The “creation” did kill three individuals and harmed two, isn’t that what defines a monster? Especially because he showed no remorse for his actions.. yet again was it his fault? Did he ask to be brought to life? Wasn’t he mistreated? Terrorized? Misunderstood? Isn’t it his creator’s fault, for not taking responsibility over his experiment? Frankenstein did defy the laws of nature after all? Frankenstein also put another in charge of the creation’a care, instead of overeseeing it himself. And what about the third party? Shouldn’t they have alerted the authorities? Stopped Frankenstein from carrying out such an atrocity? Who is the real monster?

Pop culture would have us believe it’s “the creation”, the film appears to point to “Frankenstein”, maybe even the lab assistant since he was the one that terrorized the “creation”… Do you know who I think is the monster?

— No one

No one spoke up to stop Frankenstein. No one supervised the lab assistant. No one treated the “creation”, like it had life. The film doesn’t even give it a name. No one tried to understand “the creation”. No one questioned, “the creation’s” behavior, like why did it keep Frankenstein alive and brought him back to the tower? Why did he run in fear instead of strangling the fiancée? If he was a monster wouldn’t he have killed them? No one took the time to teach the creature social norms, or words. Absence is the real monster  to me. Absence of compassion, kindness, respect, education, love, control, courage, understanding, research, communication, are all the real monsters in Frankenstein. Whatever environment “the creation” was exposed to is exactly what its behavior mirrored, violence and fear. It did not know any better; no one ever taught him. 

Was it their fault? Perhaps, or perhaps not no one had ever experimented like that before, once again there was an absence of records. 

So why go on a rant? Because we need to stop. We need to stop being absent, and be present. Speak where words are needed. Step into roles that others fear. Respond with compassion and forgiveness, instead of pride and hurt. Allow wisdom in when making decisions. Be confident. Be brave. Be watchful. Be respectful. Be honest. Be tactful. Be humble.  Be willing to serve. There are many social injustices and so many disagreements in life but there is a correct approach to address them, and a “mob with torches” is not the best approach. 

(Prayer is, the Biblical kind: Matthew 6: 5-15). 

So if you’re reading this dear one, I ask you to ponder, ” where are you being absent? And how can I change it?”.

Stop “the monster”, and be present. 

I don’t say “AMEN!” to many things but to this…AMEN!

“Singleness is a Gift from God” http://www.watermark.org/message/3543

There are so many perspectives on “Singleness” and sometimes they echo one another, but this one is different. I recommend it. It’s not just for “singles”… I will warn you, the end portion of it does tend to move towards a more mature audience just in case there are any younger audiences out there.

I hope it blesses you the way it blessed my life.

-S

 

Cry Out To Me 

“Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”–Matt 11:28. 

“Cry out to me. Cry out to me…Just cry out to me”. Four simple words that whispered or shouted hold the great power of changing you. Let’s be honest with each other, every person wants to hear these words in their most terrible of days. We hopefully wait for someone who will be “that person” and give us a chance to vent about our day or life. I am a culprit of this one too many times, usually happens over coffee or chocolate cake (sometimes pie) and I am a waterfall of emotions. Sadly, we don’t always make the wisest of choices when doing so. I have agonized and at times felt ashamed about the location, time, person, and words that I wish I could take back. I have to face the reality and accept my mistakes for what they are and just hope to gain more wisdom for my next “venting-sesh”. But sometimes too much is going in in your life that you feel trapped. You are afraid of losing friends because they are always the ones you turn to. You are afraid of where to go because of who might be listening. You are afraid of the words that may come out of your mouth because of your emotions. Sometimes, you are even afraid of the response on the other side after sharing your thoughts. Sometimes you even fear your  thoughts. So you feel trapped, asphyxiated, so you remain silent thinking this is the best choice. 

Well dear friend, remaining silent is not your best choice, sometimes it turns out to be the worst. Now you may be wondering, “Okay, dear coffee-lover lady so then what? Where do I go if I don’t feel safe? If I am afraid?”. My answer dear friend lies in the epithet above, your best confidant and friend is God. You can run to Him. In fact He wants you to come to Him, and in Him lies the perfect One to go vent and release all the stress of your day or season. He will be there for you. He will listen to you. He will not judge you. He will comfort you. He will love you, regardless of what you may be facing, He will love you unconditionally and He will help you. 

Earlier I wrote “Cry out to Me. Cry out to Me…Just cry out to Me”. This phrase is what had been echoing in my head since yesterday morning. Now you may have chosen to read it in a smooth gentle whispered voice, or perhaps just a calm sincere tone of voice. Do you know how it came to me? It came to me as a shout, “Cry out to Me! Cry Out To Me…Just CRY OUT TO ME!”. I have come to a place in this season of my life, where I am learning to keep silent. I am learning to choose my words with great care and wisdom so that I don’t harm others. So I thought with everything that is going on, not talking about it and just running it off or driving it off would suffice. I would be fine. I would be okay. No need to drag others down into this mess. 

I was wrong. 

Running and driving did help but only to let the emotions pass–the rest remained. The thoughts remained. In fact they started to build up. I pretty much ran out of space in my mind for them, but I kept collecting them. That was the problem, I kept them. I never released them, they just stayed there, growing by the minute, like weeds growing in a garden when left unattended. 

Weeds…

No wonder I felt God shouting at me to “Cry out to Him” as I was watering the roses just the other day. He wasn’t yelling at me out of anger but out of love. He knew that if I kept in my ways, I was headed for one massive collision where the damage could seem irreparable. (It wouldn’t because He is God, but it would feel like that for some time). He was begging me to come to Him. He was reminding me that I can come to Him, that I am not alone. And neither are you, dear one. He cares for you in ways that your mind cannot even fathom. He loves you at your darkest, He loves you at your best. His love for you grows with every second of every day. I am sharing this with you because I  care about you too. I don’t know you. We probably have never met but maybe one day we will in Heaven. I don’t know you or your life, but I do know God and I am beginning to understand more of His unending Psalm 139 love. If He has that for me, I know and believe He has it for you too. I am sharing this so that you don’t make my mistakes, so that you don’t have to feel the agony I’ve felt recently. No one deserves to be alone, or feel alone, no one. That is a lie. You are not alone. He is with you, always. 
Go to Him. Cry out to Him. He is listening. Jeremiah 29:12 states,”Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you”. See? He will listen. Do not let the weeds continue to grow and fester. Do not let the weeds destroy the beautiful garden that is your life. Take action. Cry out to Him and He will pull them up one by one by the root. He will remove them out of your life. He is doing that for me, I believe He will do it for you too. Psalm 119:169 states, “Let my cry come before You, O LORD; Give me understanding according to Your word”. He will grant you understanding, He will grant you peace. 

He is the perfect One to go talk about your struggles, your anxieties, your fears, your doubts, even your good news! He is with you when you are on the ground, and He is with you when you are up dancing for joy. It took me a while to realize this, I hope and pray that this post will change that for you. 

As always you are cherished and loved more than you will ever know. Thank you for reading. I hope your heart found the comfort, peace, and love it was seeking throughout this post. 

Remember the beautiful garden that is your life  

 
–S 

How My Run Went from 9min 45secs to a 9min 25secs Pace. 

“Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth” -Colossians 3:2

So the other day I went for a run. I put on my “Nothing But Asphalt” playlist and I was off! I was nearing the first tenth of a mile when the words, “set your mind on things above and not on earthly things” came to me almost like a gentle whisper. So I did what any runner would do, I looked up. 

There above and before me were branches, many many branches just hanging over my head. It was beautiful! 

I kept running. 

My gaze remained steady on the top of the trees and I kept running. Before I knew it my Nike-App chimed and notifying me I had finished my first mile. Pumped about my accomplishment I turned around and headed back to the park. I had only gone 1/2 a mile in when I noticed a change to my gait (a drastic one). My strides were a lot longer and much faster! This was odd, I tended to keep a shorter stride and slower pace. I shrugged it off. I thought perhaps since I haven’t been running in a while maybe that was it. 

It wasn’t…

That little “mental stop” distracted my focus. I was now staring at the pavement. My head was down, my shoulders were down, and my eyes stared at the ground. My Nike-App chimed one more time indicating I had now been running for two miles. Elated by my performance, I stopped to see what my time was (Now by this time I am used to seeing a negative-split pace. This means my second mile was finished at a faster pace than my first. This is actually a good indicator for runners, but this was not the case). My time showed that I had clocked a 9 min 25 sec on my first mile (this is my fastest pace to date!) and a 10 min 10 sec pace on my second mile. 

That was odd…

According to the tracker I was running a 9 min, 15 second pace at the beginning of mile two, so what happened? Did I run into a snake? A pedestrian? Did I get a phone call? Did my music stop? What caused such a change? Again I shrugged it off and started up mile three. (And yes in case you were wondering this inner monologue happened in just seconds after I stopped at mile two). So I resumed my run, head up, shoulders up, chest upright, eyes up. It did not take long for me to notice how easy, light, and fast this third mile was turning out to be for me. 

–And that’s when it hit me.

The change of pace was attributed to my focus. The 1st part of my run my eyes were looking up at the trees and sky. The 2nd part my eyes were looking at the ground. Somehow that lead to a slower heavier pace. And this is mile four (Colossians 3:2 echoing with every stride)…

What a metaphor for life! For faith!! I got distracted. When my mind was on thing above (in this case trees) I was focused on what was ahead of me. My gaze forward. It did not matter what else was going around me. My focus was on the sky and trees, and I trusted that my next stride would land in front of me solidly on the ground. My gait was lighter because as soon as one foot landed, the next was already on it’s next move. I didn’t have time to second guess myself, or think about taking the next stride. I kept my focus and kept going. 

My eyes and mind were set above and not on earthly things. 

When I decided to check my time, my focus changed direction. I now had my eyes on the ground. Distacted. I felt like I wasn’t advancing because my scenery was one constant slab of pavement. It looked the same. It was ordinary. 

Bleak.

Grey. 

Solid cement. 

God is the metaphor for looking upward, setting my mind on things above. The actual run is a metaphor for living. The ground is a metaphor for the distractions in life. Keeping a mental and physical focus upward, postures your body more upright, allowing for a more enjoyable run. Keeping our focus upward on God, allows us to see situations more positively and postures our hearts to receive or release rather than to hold in. When we are focused on God, the troubles, stresses, and unknowns fade away. We are looking ahead. Distractions are taking place but we keep our eyes forward. Trusting in the One who holds us. Trusting in the One who loves us and knows us since before the earth was formed (i.e. Ephesians 1:4). The distractions do not weigh us down because we are too focused on Him, His word of truth, and His promises. 

But when our gaze is down, we are not best equipped to make it very far. It’s a bigger struggle. Running wise, our bodies are not upright. Our shoulders grow tired because we are slouching. Droopy shoulders lead to poor posture, which leads to am aching back. Our eyes fixated on the ground lead to a bent body, decreasing the amount of oxygen our lungs take in, and our heart receives. We can still run, but it’s more exhausting. 

Similarly, when our focus is on life’s distractions we wound up more anxious, troubled, and exhausted than when we started. Why? Because we are distracted and therefore spending all of our time and energy on that distraction. Rather than seeing our situation differently, we only see it one way. The more we continue to stare at it, the more it grows. We start to perceive it as a bleak heavy boulder obstructing our path. It’s too big for us to move. But if we change from a downward to an upward focus, then we will see the tools God has given us to remove the problem/boulder from our life. 

If I just stare at the ground, my mind is fixated on one thing–the pavement. My mind grows tired of the ordinary, of the routine, of the mundane. But if I choose to look upward my view is more dynamic! I have multiple views. I can gaze at the trees, the clouds, the birds, the sun. The scenery changes constantly. Now this is a more enjoyable run! 

(And that was mile four).

So whatever it is that you are dealing with in your life, I challenge you dear friend to look upward. Look to God. Look to the Scriptures. Let Him surprise you with the new outlook He will give you. 

Always a pleasure to write to you. I hope you found what you are seeking.

In His love 

S